my parents split after they made me. i am a volcano. they are tectonic plates. follow for more geological humour.
i really hope the two people who just followed me aren’t looking for geological humour or you are going to be earth-shatteringly disappointed
Is there a non-sexual way to eat a lollipop
SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER AND EAT THE REMAINS.
settle down there Thor
(Source: theyfoundeachother)
This is so clever. Or maybe it’s just the English major in me that gets it.
Yes. It’s only you who understands. Quick, explain it to every other non-English major in the world. It’s your chosen destiny, jordantypefont.
Don’t fuck with Destiny.
(Source: desolatewanderlust)
This photo was reblogged from yer-a-blizzard-harreh and originally by desolatewanderlust.
i put the unf in unfit
(Source: thisisnotryanross)
This text was reblogged from estebanjulioricardodelarosa and originally by thisisnotryanross.
when you had an appointment and got to leave during the middle of school it was always so fucking triumphant like “haha bye you dumb sons a bitches, i’m gonna go get my teeth cleaned and then eat mcdonalds. where you at”
(Source: speedwagonfoundation)
This text was reblogged from estebanjulioricardodelarosa and originally by speedwagonfoundation.
that’s going to be me
This photo was reblogged from laugh-addict and originally by luciferbox-deactivated20120206.
(Source: jonwithabullet)
If you think about it, the process of singing the birthday song and cutting the cake is extremely satanic
no but seriously imagine it this way
a small gathering of people huddle around a object on fire, chanting ritualistically a repetitive song in unison until the fire is blown out and a knife is stabbed into the object
you must be fun at parties
(Source: fowlls)
when everyone forgot how to play hockey at the same time
I don’t even like hockey but this made me laugh so hard I think I ruptured something
#ALWAYS REBLOG THAT GUY DRAMATICALLY HITTING THE CAMERA LIKE HE’S BEEN SHOT IN A COP SHOW
when you get a text and its from somebody other than your mother
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(Source: who-ya-callin-pinhead)